a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
