He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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