I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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