I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
is that a dick in a sweater?
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