Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Randomize
