i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
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