its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Randomize
