fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
