there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize