A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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