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I like to think it a success when the cops are called
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
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