I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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