i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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