That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
now i know why i became what i already was.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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