Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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