she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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