Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
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