he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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