I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
