He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
