Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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