just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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