I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
3 2 1 whiskey
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
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