i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
