Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
