Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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