Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
