Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize