I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
