I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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