so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Randomize
