i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Boobs are out for the taking
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
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