Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
