if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
