We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize