ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
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