But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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