i would punch a child for taco bell
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
is wine microwaveable?
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Randomize
