Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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