I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize
