My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
