Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Randomize
