Well apparently he's into motor boating.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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