It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
