Nicole vs. Life
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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