yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I came so hard my ears popped.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
