just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize