haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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