P.S. I can't hear my feet
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
