it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I think my vagina is haunted
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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