How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
