Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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