Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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