At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
3 2 1 whiskey
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
