I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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