I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
