Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Randomize
