I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize