Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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