end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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