Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(810): View more from Michigan

Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark

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(917): View more from New York City

You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking

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(407): View more from Florida

I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love

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(330): View more from Ohio

it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.

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(352): View more from Florida

I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs

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(707): View more from California

Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?

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