Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
