that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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