Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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