I can't breathe out the right side of my face
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize