I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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