You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
