Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
True college students do jello shots in the library
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