You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
