people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
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