Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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