Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
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